I am an Ohio transgender athlete. I’m not willing to choose between field hockey or being my true self.  [COMMENTARY]

By Parker Parker

Editor’s note: Parker Parker (he/him) is a transgender athlete playing field hockey this year at a Division 1 College. Unlike most collegiate sports, there are no college men’s teams for field hockey, leaving him with the choice to play the sport he loves as someone he is not, or quit playing to medically transition. HB 68 would ban trans athletes and gender-affirming care in Ohio. It passed the Ohio House in June and now heads to the Senate for consideration. In advance of upcoming hearings, Parker urges readers, politicians and policymakers to support transgender athletes. 

It wasn’t the first time I thought about quitting field hockey. I was on a plane to Barcelona for a field hockey trip to experience Spain’s culture and play my heart out. Yet a trip that was supposed to be exhilarating was not. 

I chose to go for the once-in-a-lifetime experience of playing overseas. I was always improving my game, preparing for my incoming freshman year at Merrimack. However, I couldn’t shake the thought of the hatred I have developed for the sport—and yes, I know, hate is a strong word. 

When an athlete says they hate a sport, it is usually because of reasons like burnout, pressure from parents, loss of interest, not fitting in socially, etc. My newfound hatred for the sport I love so much does not come from any of those things. 

To be clear—I am a transgender athlete. I identify as male and use he/him pronouns. In field hockey, this is extremely difficult. There simply are no men’s teams at any level, whether it is high school or collegiate field hockey. I am only eligible to play for Merrimack because I haven’t medically transitioned—and per new NCAA/USA Field Hockey policy, I would lose my eligibility if I did. 

Essentially, due to the new policy, I have to postpone living as my true self in order to play the sport I love. 

Making matters worse is the onslaught of legislation across the country, including in my home state, Ohio. Over 650 anti-LGBTQ+ bills have been introduced in the U.S., including bills to ban trans athletes from competing in K-12 and collegiate-level sports. 

Ohio’s House Bill 6, deceivingly called the “Save Women’s Sports Act” by Republican extremists, is doing nothing to save women. The bill, which would ban trans athletes from women’s sports teams, is only being used as a political tactic for the sponsors of this bill to gain a certain reputation within their political party. 

The consequences of our state legislature even considering this bill has been devastating. 

Just imagine being told as a young person that you are unable to play the sport you love unless you hide a huge part of yourself. I constantly hear this message, both from state leadership and the organizations I play for, and it crushes me. The oppressive atmosphere created by some politicians and the NCAA, USA Field Hockey—it has all driven me to hate field hockey.

You would probably feel devastated too, right? 

What is most heartbreaking though, is I know I’m not alone in this. I’m sure many other trans athletes and other people feel unwelcome in their state. So many families are fleeing states like Texas, Florida and even Ohio. Trans athletes could be pushed to quit the sport they love because of the transphobic atmosphere created by state legislatures and sports governing bodies. 

Simply put, we don’t deserve this. 

We don’t deserve to have to sacrifice ourselves, our identities, or the sports we play—because when it comes down to it, we are not going anywhere.

If there is one thing I have learned in my life, especially in the current political climate,  transgender youth should never be forced to sacrifice who they are, even if it feels better for others.

Our visibility holds so much power, and if anything, visibility is what has driven me to continue fighting for myself and others. I see so many queer and/or transgender people living as their full authentic selves: MJ Rodriguez, Quinn, Elliot Page, Megan Rapinone, Mack Breggs, Leo Baker, Liv Hewson … 

Every single one of these people, and so many more, have inspired me not to quit fighting for my community or myself. 

I urge transgender youth to find their inspiration, their why, to keep fighting. 

And, for the future, I hope that the onslaught of poor legislation and policies stops. I hope that, by more of us telling our stories, by shining more light on living rather than dying, we will create positive change in public opinion. 

I know it has already begun. I see it every time I show up for practice with my teammates. I see it with my own family, who have been at my side. I know that there is space for us. We just need to make that space, like we always have. 

Policy and legislative decisions must become more expansive, not just inclusive. Too often when these decisions are being made, LGBTQ+ people are not included. Our voices must be at the table. We must expand the table. 

The most important thing to have is hope, and I hold onto it fully. I have hope that for once in my life, I won’t have to fight for the right to simply exist as my true, full self. I hold onto hope, knowing that a brighter future awaits—a future I’m helping to build now, where transgender youth are able embrace their authentic selves without compromise. 🔥

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Parker Parker is a D1 field hockey player at Merrimack College, majoring in biochemistry. Parker has hopes to become a food scientist or coffee shop owner. He is a volunteer with Equality Ohio, and has testified in front of the Ohio legislature multiple times. Aside from sports and school, Parker loves anything music (especially boygenius). His passion is to continue to inspire others through advocacy work.