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Tim Tavcar is a regular at My Friends Restaurant in Lakewood, Ohio.
Just a few blocks from his apartment, at the corner of West 117th Street and Detroit Avenue, the servers greet him like a friend.
In the front window, an orange neon sign reads “Open 24 Hours,” glowing bright beneath Cleveland’s February sky.
“I’m happy I was able to find a place here,” Tavcar said, gesturing toward the window. “I can walk to everything I need and it’s actually affordable.”
Tavcar was born and raised on Cleveland’s west side.
Now approaching his 77th birthday, he landed back in Northeast Ohio 11 years ago after more than a decade of living and working in Vermont as a stage actor and creative in the local arts and theater community.
Attending Northwestern University on an oboe scholarship, Tavcar met other gay men in Chicago’s theater scene, and eventually came out as gay himself. For the next two decades, he followed paid work in theater and the arts to a handful of cities, including several stints in Cleveland.
“I’ve lived a pretty interesting life,” Tavcar said, covering a plate of french toast in syrup. “I’ve been all over the place, but I always come back to this area. Probably because I was born here. I think it’s just home.”
“When it came for me to move this last time, I needed to find someplace affordable. I couldn’t make enough money in Vermont,” he added. “I still knew people here from growing up, so I came back for good.”
Since 1983, My Friends Restaurant has drawn a loyal late-night crowd to the border of Cleveland and Lakewood. Today, it’s among the city’s only remaining 24-hour diners – and has grown a reputation among regular patrons of nearby LGBTQ+ businesses and organizations.
Just steps from the restaurant sits the LGBTQ+ non-profit organization Margie’s Closet, a secondhand clothing store designed and curated specifically for transgender people.
No Class and The Foundry Concert Club – both queer-friendly bars and live music venues – are also within a block of the restaurant, along with Studio West 117, Twist and The Hawk. After the bars close, LGBTQ+ individuals follow a well-worn migration pattern to My Friends.
Flying over to Birdtown
LGBTQ+-owned STEM Handmade Soap is also a neighborhood staple, situated in an area called Birdtown, due to its fowl-named streets.
In 2018, couple Steve Meka and Dave Willett first started making natural handmade bath and body care products in the basement of their Lakewood home.
Since then, the business has flourished.
At STEM’s one-room shop, customers can pick up everything from handmade bars of solid dish soap to essential oils and natural bath bombs.
Next door, Oktober’s metaphysical supply store is also LGBTQ+-friendly, hosting a retail and event space that features Tarot readings, instructional courses, book signings and an extensive selection of herbs, candles and books.
Getting to and fro
Inside, Tavcar thumbs through a book on Ohio’s regional ghost stories and haunted locations, later buying it as reference material for a new theater project.
For Tavcar, easy access to public transportation like Cleveland’s red line has allowed him to remain active and social, even as his health and mobility change over time.
“I don’t drive anymore,” he explained. “I need to be able to get around, and here you’re right between two buses and you’ve got the Rapid station too,” referring to the nearby red line stop at W. 117-Madison Station.
Via the red line, passengers can take the train directly from Cleveland-Hopkins International Airport to downtown Cleveland’s Tower City Center in under 40 minutes – with access to more than 10 stops in between.
Pioneering Community
Each week, Tavcar also travels a few miles east via the RTA 25 bus to Cleveland’s Gordon Square neighborhood. There, he meets other LGBTQ+ elders at the LGBT Community Center of Greater Cleveland.
As a member of the Center’s Rainbow Pioneers group, Tavcar joins other LGBTQ+ people over 50 for everything from social outings to mobility exercise and art therapy.
More than a dozen other members come to Pioneer Rainbow meetings each week, along with social and support groups for LGBTQ+ youth.
Outside the Center, LGBTQ+-friendly businesses line the street – including Druzy Dreamer, an LGBTQ+ owned-business specializing in crystals and rainbow-adorned homegoods. A few doors down sits Brewnuts, a local spot serving specialty donuts with craft beer and often playing host to a local drag show.
Unicorns on bikes
Passing the storefronts, nearly every business displays an LGBTQ+ Pride flag or sticker.
“I get around pretty well,” Tavcar said, “I can get [to the Center], but if I’m going out to the Stallion, for instance, I’m usually calling a car.”
The Stallion is, of course, The Leather Stallion: Cleveland’s longest operating gay bar, located a bit further east.
Before moving to Chicago Tavcar dabbled in the leather scene.
“I wasn’t old enough, but I went anyway,” he said, brushing a logo on the front of sweatshirt with an open palm. “That’s kind of how I got into motorcycles and whatever.”
“You have your arms wrapped around this man, the wind and the smell of the leather,” he said. “Of course, it’s erotic. It’s intoxicating.”
Still a card-carrying member of the Unicorn Motorcycle Club, Tavcar remembers the bar scene from decades passed: more than 20 gay and lesbian bars, saunas and bathhouses – even a gay pornographic theater and bars and sex-on-site clubs like The Vault.
“A lot of people are gone now, but these guys still meet regularly,” he said, suddenly wistful. “I don’t get to the meetings all the time, but they’re still around.
Today, the Stallion is the only remaining vestige of the city’s thriving LGBTQ+ nightlife during the 1970s.
“It’s all different now,” Tavcar said. “Last year, the president had that big LGBTQ+ Pride celebration on the White House lawn.”
“I’m just happy I did end up here,” he added. “I have everything I need. It’s a good place to be.” 🔥
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