How one Ohio sexologist is helping people reclaim pleasure

By Debra Shade, ACS, ABS Clinical and Somatic Sexologist

Let’s just get this out of the way: Yes, I talk about orgasms for a living, and no, I’m not a surrogate, I do not have sex with clients or members. I teach the difference between the G-spot and the A-spot and so much more.

Let me introduce myself. I’m Debra Shade, the founder of Shades Oasis, a Columbus-based space where sensuality, healing and education come together like old friends at a very honest brunch.

I started this journey after writing a book I thought was erotica; turns out, it was a bit more intense, with 17 sex scenes of a bisexual fiend. At appearances, readers came up to me, asking questions about sex that turned on a lightbulb. After 25 years in human resources, I knew Mother Universe had a new plan for me.

We need modern-day sex education. Because with four generations in the dating and working pool, pleasure education is as mixed as a bag of mystery-flavored lollipops. And no one should still believe fisting requires knuckles or that lesbians aren’t having sex without a strap. Shades Oasis is my response to the chaos of recycled pleasure myths.

I became a board-certified clinical sexologist in 2012 and then began seeing clients, people overcoming barriers to pleasure after hysterectomies, cancer, pelvic pain, painful penetration or trauma. Folks carrying religious or generational shame around sex. And I saw something: people’s eye contact, the way their body flinches; it all told a story.

We need more than talk therapy. We need exposure therapy. I earned my certification as a somatic sexologist last year.

Sex therapy often leaves out the body. It doesn’t ask you to reclaim your physical autonomy or rewrite muscle memory that’s held pain. That’s why I started designing programs that help people build boundaries on their own terms. Helping people reclaim pleasure on purpose? That’s my jam.

Our golden rule? Don’t yuck anyone’s yum. We’re membership-based so I know who’s in the room and you can relax knowing no one knows if you’re a client or a curious learner. With over 150 workshops, I teach both individual clients and group workshops on how the body can create up to 12 different vulva and three different penile orgasms, using 52 erogenous zones to ignite pleasure and a feel-good hormone storm of dopamine, oxytocin and serotonin only achieved in a state of arousal.

I teach how important arousal is to orgasm. Every human wanting to experience orgasm should have the best of all of them, each and every time. Solo or otherwise.

We’ve got an incredible queer community, and it’s beautiful watching folks realize that our bodies have so much in common, including how often we’ve been denied knowledge about them. That pleasure storm? It lowers blood pressure, cortisol, acts as an antihistamine and even fights depression. At Shades, we hold workshops and conversations that feel like group therapy met a slumber party. We’ve got crosses, floggers and workshops on safe restraint and impact play if that’s on your list.

And we’re not just making noise; we’re making history. Shades Oasis was officially recognized by Columbus as a form of holistic care, becoming Ohio’s first Pleasure Education and Exposure Transformation center. That means we’re no longer misclassified as adult entertainment. Our work teaching consent, body literacy and healing from trauma is now seen as what it truly is: necessary, vital and deeply human.

Sex ed should no longer feel like it’s stuck in the 1950s. We deserve fun learning that makes us feel whole. Learning about your body shouldn’t be a punishment. It should feel like getting invited to the real party with snacks.

Speaking of parties … Shades isn’t all theory; we celebrate, too. We build community that holds grief in one hand and a cocktail (or paintbrush, or vibrator) in the other.

We center specific communities in curated offerings not to exclude, but to create intentional joy. When we say we’re inclusive, we mean everyone deserves to feel like the main character.

There’s a lot of right in the midst of all the wrong. Come be curious. Come be held. Come be you. 🔥